


Yours

by bitriple



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Canon Divergence, F/M, Lizzington - Freeform, Smut, a little fluff, the secretary AU kinda sorta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-14 04:35:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12999990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitriple/pseuds/bitriple
Summary: I just had the joy of watching The Secretary for the first time and I’ve been obsessed ever since. This is not quite a lizzington/ secretary crossover- we don’t get to see E. Edward Grey but we do have post-Tom season 1 Liz and a Red who begins to act very much like E. Edward Grey. There’s some kinky ass porn like from the movie with a side of exploring BDSM relationships, a little plot to get things moving, and of course angst because it wouldn’t be a Lizzington story without it. COMPLETE!





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Pretty much the only experience I have with BDSM relationships comes from fics and The Secretary, so if I get something wrong please let me know. Constructive criticism is always welcome!

TW: self harm (through alcohol- nothing graphic), spanking, bondage, sex, violence, mild gore (not in a sexual context), swearing

Chapter 1

Liz had known it was a bad idea.

Staying in this house with the shattered furniture and the memories that had once filled her with joy that now made her stomach twist. There were still bloodstains on the carpet and shards of glass in the corner of the kitchen. _His_ clothes hung in the closet, untouched, and the photos remained on the wall, the smiling pictures of strangers.

He had told her he loved her. Had fucked her again and again right in this very bed, his touch gentle and his words soft. And she had believed him. What kind of profiler couldn't see a psychopath when he was right in front of her? The past two years of her life had been built on top of a web of lies and she still didn't even know his _real name_.

Liz couldn't lay there any more, in the bed where his scent lingered on the covers and the memories of what he had done to her still filled her with a twisted sense of desire. He had lied to her, and beaten her, and left her bleeding on the floor yet Liz still _ached._

The house was dark as she slipped down the stairs, her soft foot-steps echoing through the silent rooms. She had given Hudson to a neighbor, unable to face the dog that had always been _theirs_ and she regretted the decision. She was more alone than she had ever been.

The kitchen was illuminated by the street lights, casting it in a soft yellow glow that set deep shadows into the vacant corners. Liz grabbed a bottle of wine and perched on the edge of the kitchen chair, staring at the spot where Tom had sat bleeding out onto the floor. Her lips twisted up against the wine bottle. He had almost died, that day. A big part of her wished he had.

Liz was startled into awareness by a knock on the door. She sat up and the room spun around her, her stomach flipping like she had just went into a deep plunge on a roller coaster. The blurry image of the wine bottle solidified in front of her- it was more than halfway empty and Liz let out a choked laugh. The next knock was louder and Liz pushed herself to her feet, clutching onto the chair until the floor steadied out below her.

The house twisted and turned like a tilt-a-whirl as Liz stumbled towards her front door. It took her trembling fingers two tries to undo the lock and another few seconds for her to pull it open. She nearly keeled over when she saw the man on the other end. "Raymond." The word just slipped out and Liz found she liked the way it curled off her tongue. She said it again, "Raymond."

The world was too distorted for her to make out what Red's trembling exhale meant. His mouth twitched and Liz recognized the concerned disapproval. "Lizzy."

Liz leaned against the door, her eyes sweeping down the four-piece suit Red was in. His fedora was gone and he had ditched his outer jacket and rolled up his sleeves, but he looked far too good for what was the middle of the night judging by the darkness outside. "What time is it?" Liz murmured, studying the curve of his forearms.

"Two in the morning," Red said tightly and Liz looked up in surprise.

"What are you doing here?"

"You called me," Red answered. "Now let's get you inside sweetheart."

Liz didn't protest when Red grabbed her arm in a loose grip and led her into her own home. He paused as the door swung shut behind them, "Lizzy?"

"Hm?"

"Why are all the lights off?"

"You don't need light to drink, Red," Liz told him as if it was obvious and Red let out a long-suffering sigh before releasing her to fumble for the switch. The white light that flooded the room made Liz's eyes shutter closed and she moaned, "s' so bright Red."

Red's hand closed around her arm once more and Liz tentatively opened her eyes. His eyes were soft as they looked at her and his lips were pulled into a small frown. 'You should have called me."

"I did," Liz said in confusion. She didn't remember the phone call, exactly, but Red had told her that it had happened.

Red shook his head. "Before you decided to drink yourself into oblivion," he corrected, gesturing to Liz's current state. "I would have helped."

The desperate, dark need overcame Liz again and she shook her head. "No you wouldn't." Her skin suddenly felt like it was burning and she needed to put distance between herself and Red. She pulled away, missing the hurt expression on his face as she strode into the kitchen. Red appeared in the doorway as she was grabbing the bottle.

"Lizzy!"

"Don't," Liz snapped. She took a deep breath. "I'm just putting it away. And you can stop treating me like I'm fucking glass." Liz knew it wasn't fair to treat Red like this. If anything Red was the only one who had been treating her with any semblance of normalcy- it was her team that treated her as if she could break down or blow up at any point and her friends with the terrible pity in their eyes because how could she explain that the man she had thought to be her husband wasn't even real? But the anger had been building up for weeks and she was sick and tired of feeling weak and alone.

"Lizzy," Red said, his voice just above a whisper. He took another step forward and Liz realized that she had started crying, the tears falling in silent tracks down her cheeks. Before he could reach her she put the bottle to her lips and tipped her head back, gulping down the bitter liquid as fast as her throat could take it.

Red's arms were on her in seconds, his hand firm as he pulled the bottle from her grasp with one hand and pulled her against him with the other. A hiss left his lips. "Are you trying to hurt yourself?"

Liz heard the bottle being placed on the counter with a clink and then Red's body was pressed back against hers, his warmth radiating through her. He tilted her head up and tears stained his fingertips. "Elizabeth, talk to me."

"Red-" the word came out strangled and broken and this time when Red pulled her into his chest Liz didn't protest, wrapping her arms around the solid body in front of hers. As small sobs wracked her body Red's hand pressed soothing strokes along her back.

Liz's head felt like a knife was being driven into it as she swam back into consciousness the next morning. Her mouth had a bitter, acrid taste and her tongue felt like cotton. The fragments of the night before came together as Liz stretched her aching body against the bed- the rising feelings of desperation, the wine, _Red._

"Good morning sweetheart." Liz's eyes flew open. Red was sitting in one of the chairs from her kitchen, his head cocked slightly as he regarded her. The way he perched on the edge, his body tense and stiff, made Liz think he had been there all night. "I took the initiative of throwing out all of your alcohol."

Liz sat up, "Red what the fuck?"

Red lips turned up slightly and he cocked his head. "Yes, Lizzy?"

"You can't just show up here and mess with my belongings!" The rest of her rant was cut off when Red stood up in one smooth motion and strode to the side of her bed, stopping when his legs were practically pressed against the mattress and he was towering over Liz.

He leaned down until his face was only inches from her own and Liz's breath caught in her throat. His hands settled on either side of her pillow, trapping her between the bed and his body. "I can and I did, sweetheart." He said in a low whisper. "And you will never get that drunk again, do you understand me?"

Liz wanted to say no. But the way Red was staring down at her- his eyes holding an intensity that she had never seen before, the threat in his voice one that she had only heard him use on criminals yet it was different somehow, _darker_. He was so close that Liz could make out every fleck of color in his pale green eyes and his breath was hot against her cheek. She nodded.

Red hovered there for a moment longer, his eyes studying her face. He seemed satisfied with what he saw there and let out a long breath as he straightened up. "You are going to drink that glass of water at your bedside. Then you are going to take a shower and eat breakfast. As soon as you are finished you will call me. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Liz answered, her voice a choked whisper.

Red nodded his head, his smile not breaking any of the tension that choked the air. "Excellent, I will be waiting for your call." The charming Raymond Reddington that Liz knew had reappeared so fast that it left her head spinning. By the time she regained some measure of control over her thoughts Red was gone.

A shiver ran down her spine at the memory of the way he had looked at her. There was something heavy in his eyes- a desire unlike anything she had ever seen to control her, _own_ her. The glass was almost empty before Liz realized what she was doing. She held it in her hands for a moment, staring at the way the surface of the water glittered in the morning light. She could put it back on the table right now, end _whatever this was_ before it even started.

She tipped the glass back and swallowed the rest in a single gulp.

Note: I've never actually gotten drunk off of wine before, but I can drink about half a 26 (which is equivalent to a bottle of wine) of fireball without dying so I just went with that? IDK haha if it's totally off let me know and I can edit it. This story has about one chapter of writing left between 4 and 5 so the whole thing should be up before Christmas. If you enjoy it (or hate it) drop me a comment :D!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you for the comments and kudos, I'm glad you're enjoying this story! This chapter ends in a bit of a cliffhanger, sorry, but I promise it will be updated again Sunday at the latest so it won't be too long of a wait. Also just a heads up while chapter 1 and 2 were under 2,000 words the next three chapters are closer to 3,000. Who wants to guess what'll happen in chapter 3?

It had been three weeks since that night. Liz hadn't drunk a single drop of alcohol since, and one by one the pictures of Tom Keen had been disappearing of the walls until any traces of the life they held together were gone.

The dance between her and Red had grown more complicated. There was a new component to it that Liz couldn't fully understand, but all she knew is that the thought of that morning, of his voice directing her on what to do, _owning her_ , sent chills down her spine.

To anyone watching, their relationship seemed unchanged. Red still directed her- ordering for her at restaurants when they were undercover, helping her when she was stuck on cases, his hand resting against her arm or on the small of her back as he guided her forward. But Liz couldn't miss the orders that he gave her. "Wear your hair straight tonight, Lizzy." "Finish your plate, sweetheart." "Take a day off. I don't want you doing anything but eating and sleeping." And each time, she obeyed.

Until tonight.

Liz had gone undercover with Red- an occurrence that had been happening much more frequently since that night. Their new blacklister was a hit man known in inner cycles by the name "The Hunter". He had never missed a kill and was responsible for a range of high risk targets from politicians to criminal warlords. His current target was none other than Raymond Reddington.

"Have a drink." There was a smile on Red's face when he handed her the small flute of champagne and his tone was light, but his gaze was sharp as he stared at her. Liz hesitated, her heart beating wildly in her chest. Red leaned in until his mouth was hovering against her ear. "Drink Agent Keen." His voice was no more than a whisper, but it was sharp and commanding and Liz felt helpless to do anything but bring the stained glass to her lips. Red's face was still inches from her own and heat radiated from his body. Liz could feel the blush on her cheeks- God how she wanted to close that short distance, to taste his lips and press herself flush against him...

As soon as Liz swallowed the first sip of the sweet liquid, Red pulled back. The distance between them sent a sudden rush of cool air over Liz and the danger he was in came crashing back. "Red the target-" The panic in her voice was evident and Red stilled her with a hand on her arm.

"Finish your drink, Lizzy." Liz's heart was beating wildly, this time with fear. Only once she started drinking again did Red continue. "The hunter walked in ten minutes ago." Liz's entire body stiffened and she let her hand slide against the comforting weight of the gun secured to her thigh, concealed beneath the tight, black dress she was in. "He won't dare come after me in such a public place. He'll wait until I'm alone to make an attack."

Red's confidence didn't reassure Liz. She drained the last dregs of the champagne and turned to look over Red's shoulder, using the movement as an excuse to move closer. She had to look up to meet Red's eyes, "Which one is he?"

"Red tie, shoulder length brown hair," Red murmured. Liz's eyes caught on him- he was just as Red described- plain features that were almost unrecognizable especially in the sea of people with suits like his. He was sitting stiffly at the bar, staring into his drink of whiskey.

"Why don't I just contact Ressler now, get him to send in a team." Red just looked at her and Liz hissed in frustration. "We have a visual! I don't understand..."

Red seemed to come to a decision. "I need our assassin for something, before Captain America can haul him off to some hole in the ground where he'll never see the light of day again," he cut her off.

Liz's words stumbled to a halt. Had Red just volunteered the truth for once, without her having to go behind his back to find it or drive any pens into his neck? Red chuckled at the shocked look on her face. He leaned forward. "Dance with me, Lizzy."

He guided her on to the dance floor. Liz still had a million questions buzzing through her mind, but the fact that Red had just voluntarily given her the truth, even if it was only a small piece of it, made her pause. Red stopped when they were in the middle of the room, surrounded by couples dancing. One of his hands clasped the fingers of her own, and the other settled onto her lower back. They began to sway softly to the music, and Red pulled her close. She let him lead.

"You look absolutely stunning in that dress, sweetheart." It was a dress that he, in fact, had picked out for her, showing up at her house unannounced an hour before he was set to pick her up with the silky fabric.

Liz flushed, "Thank you for buying it for me." It felt odd, to be thanking Red after she had spent so long pushing him away, but the grin that lit up his face made it well worth it.

"It was my pleasure."

As Red spun her around the room, Liz felt herself drawn closer and closer to Red until their bodies were practically pressed together. Liz looked up to find his face only inches from her own and buried her face in his shoulder to hide the flush that rose to her cheeks. She could feel Red's low chuckle rumbling against her chest.

The sensation of being close to him was so overwhelming that Liz didn't notice when the last notes of the song faded out. She did notice when Red pulled away and sighed at the loss of warmth. By Red's smirk, Liz could tell he heard it too.

Red's arm slid into the small of her back and he guided her over to the small bar that stretched along the corner of the room. There was a small group of people crowded off to one side, talking and laughing loudly, but the seat that had contained The Hunter was vacant, an empty glass of whiskey in its place. Red stopped at a seat on the edge of the bar, far away from anyone else. "Sit down," he murmured into Liz's ear, his voice a low rasp that made Liz's stomach twist.

She perched on the edge of the seat facing Red, searching for anything in his face that might signal what he wanted from her. His eyes were dark as they swept up and down her body, lingering on the skin revealed from where her dress had slipped up her thigh. In the sparkling light cast by the chandelier Liz couldn't miss the way his pupils dilated and her breath caught in her throat. "Lizzy," Red said, drawing out the last syllable as his eyes rose to meet her own. "Turn around, put your hands on the bar, and your feet on the floor."

The words were no more than a whisper but they were so close that Liz heard them perfectly. "Red I don't understand..."

"You don't need to understand." His voice dropped even lower. "Turn around, put your hands on the bar, and place your feet on the floor."

Liz couldn't even begin to process the emotions flooding her. She felt almost as if she wasn't quite there as she turned slowly in her chair, scooting up until her forearms were pressed against the table and her feet where firmly on the floor. When she stretched out her fingertips they rubbed against something sticky. "Red?" her voice wavered. There was a long moment of silence where all she could hear was his breathing behind her, heavier than normal.

Then his hand slid down her back and he leaned forward so Liz could feel the heat of his body against her. "You're going to sit here, just like this, until I return." The whisper gusted against her ear and a shiver ran through Liz's body. Red's hand tightened against her hip as he hovered there for a moment, before the contact was suddenly gone and Red was striding across the room as confident as ever.

Only Liz's eyes moved as she watched him weave through groups of people and disappear down the hallway leading to the restroom. Liz's eyes scanned the rest of the crowd, confirming the suspicion that was growing into cold dread in her chest- The Hunter was nowhere to be found. The panic that overcame her made Liz dizzy with its intensity. She couldn't lose Red, not after everything, not before she had a chance to explore this _thing_ between them.

Liz pressed her feet so hard against the floor that they ached. The cool metal of the gun burned against her thigh. Certainly Red wouldn't be stupid enough to go after The Hunter alone if he thought he couldn't handle him?

"The bathroom." The words, spoken by a young man a few feet down from Liz who was leaning heavily against the bar, his eyes glazed with alcohol, sounded like they were coming through fog. "Your fucking bathroom is locked," he yelled at the bartender, taking a step away only to stumble back against the counter.

"I'm sorry sir I will take care of that immediately," the bartender said.

"Yeah, well you might as well wait for the two people to finish up in there," the man said with a hiccup. "Could hear the banging from down the hall."

Liz was up before he could even finish his sentence, weaving her way through the crowd and shoving anyone who wouldn't get out of her way. When she hit the hallway she started running, her heels clicking against the tiled floor. Liz reached the men's bathroom just in time to hear a resounding bang from inside and a low moan that sounded like him _._ "Red!" she shouted, jiggling the handle. When it didn't give way she took a step back and slammed her foot into the door.

The door splintered open with a resounding crack and Liz stepped through with her gun drawn.

The white bright light of the bathroom illuminated the scene before her- Red on his knees with The Hunter standing behind him his arm wrapped around Red's neck. Red's hands were grasping at the chokehold but when he saw Liz he froze. The Hunter dropped him and before Liz could react there was a gun in his hand pointed at her and the muzzle was flashing.

Liz emptied her entire casing into his chest and The Hunter slumped to the ground. She let her gun fall from her hands,"Red!"

She rushed over to the ma's side, dropping onto the tiled floor beside him. Red's breaths were rapid and shallow and Liz could tell by the grimace on his face that each one burned. "Just breathe, Red," she whispered, pressing a hand to his chest." _Breathe."_


	3. Chapter 3

AN: The reviews and kudos give me life, thank you for the support! I'm hoping I did the scene in this chapter (you'll know the one) some kind of justice. Enjoy!

Previously on Yours:

_She rushed over to the man's side, dropping onto the tiled floor beside him. Red's breaths were rapid and shallow and Liz could tell by the grimace on his face that each one burned. "Just breathe, Red_ _,"_ _she whispered, pressing a hand to his chest. "Breathe."_

Chapter 3

His eyes focused on the hand she had pressed against him and slid up her arm. Liz saw his eyes widen and followed his gaze. As soon as she did, the pain that had been chased away by the adrenaline came rushing back.

The bullet had grazed her left bicep and blood flowed in a heavy stream down her arm, slipping down her wrist and sinking into the fabric of Red's shirt right above his heart. Before Liz could pull her hand away Red grabbed it, his fingers digging in hard enough to _hurt. "_ Lizzy." His voice crackled and shook but the emotion was unmistakable.

"It's okay Red I'm fine," Liz said, trying to pull her hand away but stopping when Red's fingers dug into her skin even deeper, the tips stained with the crimson liquid dripping downwards.

"I told you-" he started in a hoarse whisper.

He was cut off by the door swinging open. "Keen talk to me!" Liz turned and the fingers slipped from her arm.

"I'm fine Ressler. Call an ambulance. Reddington should have his throat checked out."

"No," Red said firmly. Liz looked over her shoulder to find him already on his feet, breathing heavy from the effort but steady.

"What the hell happened?" Ressler said, looking between the blood dripping down Liz's arm, to the deep stain in Red's shirt, to The Hunter lying on the floor. "I thought the plan was to lure him outside and let us take care of him."

"He must have seen Reddington go into the bathroom and decided to follow him," Liz lied without hesitation. "When I got here The Hunter was choking Reddington. When he saw me he pulled a gun and I killed him."

"Keen you need medical attention, I'm going to radio it in."

"No," Red said again, his voice firm as he walked over and pulled the radio from Ressler's hand. "Agent Keen is coming with me."

Ressler bristled, snatching the radio back from Red, "You don't run things here Reddington-"

"It's okay Ressler," Liz cut him off. "I know how to treat a gunshot wound, and Reddington can drive me home." Ressler's eyes narrowed in suspicion and Liz added, "I didn't bring my car with me."

Ressler's eyes were still narrowed as he looked between the two of them, but he stowed the radio back in his pocket. "Go," he said, turning his attention to the pool of blood forming around the body. "I'll take care of the crime scene."

Red was silent as he guided Liz out the back exit to the car waiting in the parking lot down below, but his grip on her arm was firm and Liz could see the anger written into every line on his face, his muscles were tensed as if he was preparing for battle. Her heart was beating fast, but she wasn't afraid. She hadn't been afraid of him since she had faced him after driving a pen into his neck and received nothing but a smile and _we're going to make a great team._

He opened the car door for her. "Sit." He let out a small breath when Liz settled into the passenger seat without protest.

Liz was surprised when Red slid into the driver's seat beside her. "Where's Dembe?"

The car purred to life and Red didn't give any indication that he'd heard her. Liz's next exhale was shaky and she turned to stare out the window at the city streaking by. A light misting had picked up while they were inside and small raindrops merged and twisted down the tinted windows, blurring the world beyond them so it was almost unrecognizable.

They pulled up to Red's safe house- a moderately sized, Victorian home on the edge of town, with a stone wall wrapped around a large stretch of grass giving way to miles and miles of woods that separated them from the nearest civilization. The car rattled against the gravel driveway and Liz pressed the cloth Red had given her tighter against her wound. The adrenaline of seeing Red dying before her had worn off entirely leaving Liz achy and tired, the bullet wound stinging like a bitch. And Red still hadn't spoken a word to her.

The rain had tapered off, but heavy clouds hung in the sky obscuring the light of the moon and casting their surroundings into darkness. The windows were dark and Liz repressed a shiver as the car slid to a stop- they were all alone.

Red sat in silence for what felt like minutes after the car turned off. His breathing was deafening in the quiet and although Liz could feel him watching her she couldn't look at him. She stared at the house towering above them, trying to disguise the way she could feel her breathing speed up along with the pulse racing in her chest. She wished she had both hands free so she could stroke her scar, but she could feel the warm liquid seeping through the fabric and she didn't want to stain the leather of Red's car.

He opened his door. The sound of it slamming shut made Liz jump. Red walked around the car to open the door for her. "Follow me," he said, his hoarse voice clipped. He didn't wait for a response before walking up the muddy driveway to the safe house.

Liz slid out of the car. Her heels sunk deep into the soft Earth as she followed Red. He disappeared into the house and Liz tried not to be hurt that he hadn't held the door for her.

The warm glow of the light inside soothed her nerves and Liz looked around the grand entrance to find Red leaning against a door frame half a hallway down, his head cocked as he regarded her. He tapped his fedora twice against his thigh before straightening up with a small sigh. "Come here Lizzy," he said softly, his tone almost kind.

Liz took slow, measured steps towards Red, her eyes glued to him. His face, while always guarded, was rarely this expressionless and it set her on edge. Just before she reached him Red turned and disappeared into the room behind him.

It appeared to be an office. There was a large mahogany desk in the corner of the room with a plush leather chair behind it. A tall bookshelf stretched across the wall and there was a couch on the other side of the room surrounded by a few chairs. The desk, chairs, and even the bookshelf were devoid of any items and had a stark cleanliness that made the room feel hollow.

Red pulled back the chair behind the desk. "Please sit down Lizzy." Red's tight smile pulled Liz across the room and she perched on the edge of the chair. Red knelt beside her and rummaged through the drawers of the desk until he found a first aid kit. He set it on the desk and looked up at Liz, his gaze soft. "Let me see it."

Liz carefully pulled the cloth away, revealing the bullet wound. Blood had dried around the edges staining them a deep crimson. The bleeding had slowed but fresh liquid oozed from the cut, a single trail breaking free to stream down Liz's arm. Red followed its path as it dripped down Liz's fingers onto the carpet below. He pulled in a ragged breath and looked away.

Liz couldn't see his face but she could see the way his shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath. He didn't meet her gaze as he turned back to open the first aid kit. Red's hands were feather light against her skin as he cleaned the area. The scent of alcohol flooded Liz's noise and she clenched her fingers as it burned against her open wound. "You're going to need stitches," Red said as he pulled away the cloth, now stained with her blood. His voice was gentle and Liz could see the unbridled concern in his eyes.

Red stitched her up as if it was something he did every day. The needle stung when it pierced her skin, but the pain faded into background as Liz studied Red's movements. One hand wrapped almost entirely around her bicep, the gentle yet firm grip holding her arm still. The other hand stitched a neat row of stitches into her skin, pulling the wound steadily shut.

Red was focused on the task and Liz allowed herself to study his face. The stress had yet to fade from the crinkle in his forehead and between his eyes as if she was still standing behind the muzzle of a gun. He wasn't trying to hide his emotions from her right now- Liz could see the concern, and the anger, and most off all the overwhelming _fear_ that was written into every inch of his tense body. Liz imagined it was the same cold hard dread she had felt breaking down the door to find him on the floor, the life being choked out of him.

 "Red..." Liz whispered. Red finished fastening the bandage around her wound, letting his fingers trail against her skin as he dropped his hand to his sides. He looked up to meet her eyes and the intensity in his gaze took her breath away.

He stood and turned away from her, his breathing heavy in the silence hanging between them. His entire body was stiff as he pulled the top drawer open, removing a small pad of paper and a red pen. He moved to the other side of the desk and bent over so he could write. The calm, smooth strokes of the pen sped up until he was scribbling frantically against the paper.

The pen finished its path with one final swoop. When Red looked up at her he was panting and his eyes were filled with an intense, frantic energy that made Liz _tremble._ He stood up straight, sliding a hand down his front as if to straighten his suit out. His hand slid through the patch of blood, sending dried flakes to the floor. Red took a deep, even breath as he straightened out the paper on the edge of the desk, placing the pen off to the side.

"Come over here Lizzy," he said in a voice just above a whisper, turning and taking two steps back so all Liz could read were his shoulders, coiled tight like he was getting ready to strike. Her legs felt like jelly, but she didn't even consider disobeying him as she rose and stepped over to the other side of the desk. Red didn't turn, but he waited for the sounds of her footsteps to stop before speaking, "I want you to turn around, place your hands on the desk, put your face above the paper, and read it aloud."

Liz didn't move, "Red..."

"Turn around, place your hands on the desk, put your face above the paper, and read it aloud," Red repeated in a voice as toneless as before. Liz stared at the stark profile of his back, her mouth dry.

In some ways making that small turn was difficult, in others surrendering to him was one of the easiest things she had done in her life. Liz's hands settled onto the desk and she leaned over until her face was only inches away from the letter, close enough that she could read the elegant, arching letters. In this position, her dress pressed against her thighs just below her ass threatening to slip up and reveal her thin, lacy, _red_ panties.

She was painfully aware of the sound of him turning to face her and prickles ran down her back as his eyes swept over her. She _felt_ him move forward and it took all of her control to fix her gaze on the paper and find enough focus to make sense of the words blurring before her eyes.

"Dear Ray-"

His hand hit her ass and the words died in Liz's throat along with any coherent thought. Her fingers gripped the desk so hard it hurt and she took in a sharp gasp of air. She couldn't _think_ she could hardly even breathe.

"Continue." Red's voice was a low whisper and _God_ when had he gotten that close, not quite pressed against her back, but close enough that she could feel his presence. Liz closed her eyes for a moment before focusing back on the page.

"Raymond Reddington." _Smack. "_ I am so s-" _Smack. "_ Sorry for putting my life..." _Smack_ "Putting my life in danger." _Smack. "_ My life is worth more." Liz let out a gasp at the next contact, the sound of Red's heavy breathing making her dizzy with emotion and an overwhelming need. "Than I could ever imagine." _Smack._ Liz gripped the table harder. "and I know that you would never," _smack "_ recover if something happened," _smack_ "to me."

Liz's eyes flicked to the last line, her vision as shaky as her trembling legs. "Elizabeth Keen." The last two smacks knocked her against the desk and Liz clutched onto it for dear life, her ragged breathing matching Red's own. "Red..." she panted. She wanted to say something. To ask him what this was, between them. To say that she didn't regret going in to save his life, not for one second, not even if the bullet had torn through her heart instead of her arm. To say that she cared about him, _lov-_

"Read it again." Red's voice was wrecked- a trembling, breathless whisper that rumbled deep out of his throat. Liz's entire body shuddered and she turned back to the page.

"Dear... _ah..._ R- _Raymond_ Reddington."

As she continued to read the letter, Red's smacks picked up speed until they were coming nearly every word, leaving Liz's voice breathless and needy. "Recover... oh my God... if... something happened... to me."

Li's hips slammed against the desk at the next slap and the moan that escaped her sounded like his name. She squeezed her eyes shut as his hand was brought down again, the sound and sensation magnified with the loss of sight. "Elizabeth Keen."

The last smack resounded through the air at the word "Keen". There was a sudden pressure against her back and Liz realized that he had collapsed against her for support. He was pressed so tightly against her back that she could feel each one of his rapid, ragged breaths as his chest moved against her and his hot breath ghosted across her ear. His hand fumbled for the desk beside her, grabbing hold of it like a life line.

Liz's eyes focused on those hands, the hands that _God_ had been on her only moments before. Her fingers reached towards his without conscious thought, needing contact, needing to feel him. She slipped her fingers beside his and he grasped for her, his index and pinky finger curling around her own.

"Promise me," Red breathed against her ear. "Promise me you'll never do that again."

Liz squeezed her eyes shut, "I can't." Red's body stiffened against her. "Red, I don't... can't you see that losing you would hurt me just as bad? If you put me in the position between following... whatever this is, and keeping you safe I will choose _you_ every time."

She didn't understand what the hitch in Red's breath meant. The air felt thick, choking, as she waited for him to say _something_.

"I understand." The toneless words were accompanied by Red taking a step back, chills running up Liz's spine at the sudden rush of cool air where his body had been a moment before. She turned to find his face shuttered, his eyes cold as they watched her. "You may go now Miss Keen."

Liz's breath caught painfully in her throat. After everything that had just happened, every line in the sand that they had destroyed in a single moment, this was how it ended? "No."

"Lizzy..." he warned.

"No Red you don't get to do this. I want _this_ I want _you_ and you don't get to throw that out in some stupid idea that you're the only one who's allowed to have feelings! I ran in there because I _care_ about you and nothing you say or do is going to change that!"

Red was suddenly in her personal space. He only had inches on Liz, but right now he seemed to tower above her, his eyes blazing with anger and a deep _hunger_ , his hands wrapping around her to pin her body against the desk. " _Nothing_ sweetheart? What if I pinned you to the desk right here and _took_ what I wanted?" His eyes raked down the front of her chest and he let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a sigh."The things I would do to you."

" _I would let you."_

For the second time that day Red was shocked speechless. Liz felt his body shudder against hers and when he met her gaze there was more in his eyes than she could even imagine. Then he pushed his weight off and swept out of the room without another word.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When Dembe showed up in the room nearly twenty minutes later, Liz was still leaning against the desk staring at the place where Red had just been, where he had touched her; pressed his body against her own. The sight of the bodyguard made Liz realize what state she was in- hair disheveled, face flushed, her dress slipped halfway up her thighs. She flushed deeper and pulled it down, looking away from Dembe.

"Raymond has instructed me to drive you home, Miss Keen," he said and Liz nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you Dembe." She followed him into the night, the cool air feeling blissful against her heated skin, clearing her mind. She would leave tonight, but this wasn't the end. Red didn't get a chance to push her away because she was too close, not this time.

Liz showered in the morning, and took extra care in picking out her outfit. She knew the other members of the Post Office wouldn't blink at the bright red blouse but Red would _know_.

Her stomach flittered with nerves as her car slid to a halt in the parking garage. She didn't see the black sedan Dembe usually drove, but that didn't mean much. Red had a number of different vehicles and ever so often the body guard would leave his side for an hour or so and return to pick him up once he was done helping the team.

Liz took a deep breath, steeling herself. She would walk in there, do her job and treat Red as normal. She couldn't give the team any reason for suspicion, but she wouldn't let Red leave her alone today. She was willing to handcuff him to the wall if it meant having the conversation they needed to have.

Despite having a plan, her nerves only grew as the elevator descended. She trusted Red enough to not do anything directly incriminating, but she wouldn't put it past him to give her the cold shoulder and leave her to scramble for some explanation for the team that didn't involve him _spanking her against his desk_ the night before.

A hush descended over the Post Office the moment the elevator doors slid open. Liz craned her neck to try to find the familiar fedora, but all she saw was pairs of agent's eyes staring at her and she felt her throat clench. Meera was giving her a fairly appraising look from where she leaned against her desk, Ressler's eyes were narrowed, and Aram just looked _concerned_. For a second the wild fear filled Liz that he had told them everything and a SWAT team was about to rush in to arrest her for doing what she knew half the agents expected all along- taking her relationship with Reddington too far, crossing boundaries she was never supposed to cross. The knowledge that Red would never do anything to put her in danger didn't stop her racing heart.

"Agent Keen." Liz looked up to find Cooper standing above her, his expression unreadable. "A word?"

It was phrased as a question but Liz took it as the command it was, nodding her head and subtly straightening her shoulders as she walked towards the stairs. She reminded herself that technically she hadn't done anything illegal. And it had been a long time since anyone could consider the relationship between her and Raymond Reddington as _professional_ , if it had ever been considered as such. Getting spanked against the desk by the concierge of crime himself surely wasn't that bad right? Liz would have laughed if she wasn't royally screwed.

Cooper smiled at her when she stepped through the open door and gestured to the seat across from him. "Have a seat. Close the door behind you."

Liz did as directed, perching on the edge of the seat and trying not to look like a deer trapped in headlights. Cooper gave her that half-interested, half-suspicious look that he always did when Red did something in relation to her that he just couldn't understand. "Reddington came to see me this morning."

"Oh?" Liz said, proud when her voice came out almost normal. "What did he want?"

"He gave me a case," Cooper said, his eyes flickering to a thin manila folder sitting on the desk between them. "It seemed odd that he gave it to me when he's refused to work with anyone but you in the past. That, along with Agent Ressler's report of his behavior last night had me wondering." He flipped open the folder and Liz found it was not the case she had been expecting. Instead, there was satellite image with two red dots in the center. She leaned forward and felt her heart drop when she recognized the black, arching roof surrounded by a vast, green yard.

"This is the location off the chip in Reddington's neck," Cooper said pointing to the small dot on the left. "And this is the location from your cell phone." Liz shared at the two dots, pressed so tightly together that they nearly overlapped.

Liz pressed her hands tight against her legs, looking Cooper in the eye. "You know Reddington. For whatever reason, he needs me alive- he dragged me to his safe house and lectured me on being reckless for a little while, then had his medical team stitch me up and Dembe drive me home."

Coopers brow was still furrowed, as if he was turning the explanation over in his mind searching for cracks.

"Reddington's house was the last place I wanted to be last night, but you gave me a job," Liz said, not having to disguise the anger in her voice. "And I can't do that unless Reddington thinks he can trust me."

Cooper sighed and Liz felt the coils in her stomach unfurl. "I know this job has put you in a tough position, Keen. Its my job to make sure that your relationship with Reddington doesn't become... _compromising_."

Liz snorted. "I really don't think that's going to be a problem, sir. He killed my father, he destroyed everything in my life that was _meaningful_. As far as I'm concerned he could rot in a cell for the rest of his life, but the work we do here _matters._ "

Cooper winced, looking like he wanted to say something to comfort her, but couldn't find the words. Finally he just sighed, "Agent Ressler can fill you in on the case."

It turned out the case involved talking to a multitude of squirrely drug dealers who would run at the slightest breath of _cop._ Liz snapped after they had to chase the fourth person through dark, dirty alleys and made Ressler wait in the car. By the time they finally caught up to the blacklister- a kingpin who had no qualms about selling his drugs to human traffickers- Liz was covered in dirt, grime, and cuts and felt about ready to pass out. She was definitely _not_ in the right frame of mind to deal with the black SUV sitting in her driveway.

Liz cursed under her breath, trying to calm herself down to imagine any way of facing the man inside that didn't involve slapping him in the face. She could see the window of her living room lit up in the pale glow of the new lamp she had bought after smashing _Ike_ into a million different pieces. Red must have heard the lock clicking because when Liz opened the door he was standing in the center of the living room, staring at her.

Liz turned to close and lock the door behind her, letting herself linger for a brief moment and _breathe,_ all the words she had wanted to say gusting away at the reality of him being _right there_ and all Liz wanted to do was throw herself into his arms.

She turned to find Red's eyes sweeping up and down her body and she took the time to study _him._ She didn't know if she was imagining the deep shadows beneath his eyes, or the pained crease to his brow, but she couldn't deny that his suit was helplessly crinkled and his fingers were tapping aimless patterns against his thigh as if he couldn't keep them still. His eyes widened when they reached her face- taking in the swollen lip from the dealer who thought it had been a good idea to take a swing at her (who was now gifting a broken arm) and the small cut across her cheek from his rings.

"Lizzy." Her name came out croaked and broken and Red cleared his throat. His fingers were twitching and Liz knew it was taking everything he had not to come to her. "How was your day?"

Liz couldn't help the laugh that broke out of her at the question. It sounded as bitter and twisted as her next words, "Well I had a nice talk about compromising relationships with Cooper in the morning, and then Ressler and I spent the day chasing after sorry excuses for drug dealers who led us to your blacklister. What was he, the very last number? Or maybe he's not even on the list and just someone you gave us to distract us while you were off doing God knows what."

Red's face was utterly devoid of expression, his eyes shadowed, his voice even and steady as he responded. "I trust you dealt with Harold."

Liz felt her anger spike at the lack of emotion on his face- she wanted him to hurt, to get angry, to scream at her or apologize or _do something_. "Why are you here Reddington?"

The name finally had the reaction Liz was looking for as Red's eye twitched, but it didn't fill her with any amount of satisfaction. Instead she wanted to rush forward, to smooth the pain from his brow and tell him that everything was _okay_ and she was here and would always be here and _his_.

Liz's breath caught in her throat as Red began to move forward, his strides slow and small, the distance between them closing at an aching pace. The move wasn't threatening- he was giving her time to escape like he always did- giving her a chance to _choose_ and Liz had never been more certain. She straightened her neck and looked straight into his eyes and saw a rush of relief over Redâ€™s face as he covered the rest of the distance in two strides and then was standing there, right before her, so close that his breath ghosted across her face.

His hands rose up to caress her cheek as a thumb ran across the cut, then shifted down to ghost over the swollen part of her lip. Liz's breath caught in her throat, "Red."

"Lizzy, I'm not..." His gaze fell to her lips as if he couldn't bare meeting her eyes and the next breath he let out shuddered in the air between them. "I'm not a nice man. I've killed in cold blood, I've _tortured_ , beaten... There are things I have done that would make the most hardened criminals shudder in fear, things that don't haunt the darkest of nightmares because the brain can't even _fathom_ them. But when I look at you..." His gaze flickered up and Liz's breath escaped her in a rush at the intensity in his eyes.

The silence was heavy between them and the whispered words that fell from her lips sounded foreign as Liz finished his sentence. "You want me." His nod was nearly imperceptible. "You want to _own_ me."

The noise he made was somewhere between a whine and a moan and he fell forward, burying his head into Liz's necks as his hands rose to curl around her, so light Liz could barely feel them ghost against her shoulder blades. "I don't deserve you," he breathed against her neck, the admission making Liz's chest ache. Any words she wanted to say seemed inadequate, so instead Liz raised a hand and ran her nails over Red's hair. The shudder that ran through him was so violent it shook her and Red's hands tightened until she was pressed against him, his fingers clutching into her blouse as if he was afraid she would disappear. " _Lizzy..."_

"Yes," Liz answered in a rush of breath. "As long as you promise you will let me help when you are in danger, then the answer is yes Red."

The few seconds as she waited for him to respond were the longest of her life. When he unwrapped his arms from her and pulled away Liz felt her heart drop, the sudden lump in her throat too thick to even _breathe_ around.

Until Red leaned forward and pressed the faintest of kisses against her lips, pulling back before her surprise had faded enough to respond. "Go upstairs, strip in the bathroom, and wait for me." The breathless quality of his voice couldn't hide the edge behind it and Liz's knees felt weak from the heat curling in her stomach.

Liz stripped as soon as she got into the bathroom, leaving her clothes in a piled heap that she kicked into the corner. Not sure how long she had before he came up- when she left him in the living room he had been laying his discarded coat and vest neatly on the couch and rolling up the sleeves of the button down beneath- Liz did her best to wipe the smudged mascara beneath her eyes. Then she turned to face the door, not the least bit frightened but breathless with anticipation, straining her ears to listen for his approach.

The sound of feet on the stairs was muffled, almost too quiet to make out- he must have removed his shoes. Liz curled her toes against the cool tile floor as the steps grew nearer and nearer until there was a pause right outside the door. Liz's breath was harsh and panting in the stillness of the bathroom and the door swung open.

Red's eyes found her immediately, tracing her body from head to toe and then back up again. His exhale was shaky. "God, sweetheart, you're beautiful." Liz flushed under his lingering gaze, seeming to drink in every detail of her skin with a reverence that made warmth spread through her- until he dragged his eyes away and walked past her. Liz tracked him out of the corner of her eyes, standing perfectly still as he knelt besides the tub attached to her shower and turned on the tap.

Red let the water spill through his fingertips, adjusting the tap until Liz could see small rivers of steam floating into the air, making the room warm as the bathtub filled. The tension in the air was nearly tangible and even though Red remained kneeling facing away from her, Liz could hear how unsteady his breathing was over the steady stream of running water. Her legs trembled with anticipation but she didn't dare move from her position, not until Red directed her.

Red squeezed some of Liz's body wash into the stream of water and the room was flooded with the sweet scent as foam bubbled over the surface of the bath. When the water was nearing the brim, Red turned it off and silenced flooded the room. "Come here Lizzy."

Red held her hand as she slipped into the tub, the water feeling silky against her legs as she sunk beneath it. The bath wasn't anywhere near the size of the extravagant marble constructions found in Red's safe houses and Liz had to bend her knees to fit. The heat felt blissful against her aching muscles, but she was far too aware of the man beside her to give into it.

"Relax," Red whispered into her ear and Liz felt her muscles instantly obey, sinking into the warmth even as the heat coiled deeper in her stomach.

She couldn't hold back the soft moan that broke free from her lips as Red dipped a washcloth into the foamy water and began to wash smooth, even circles into her shoulder. As his fingers pressed and soothed in just the right places Liz let her eyes slide closed, her entire mind and body absorbed in the feeling of his touch on her.

He washed her body thoroughly, having her lean forward so he could do her back then skipping down to her legs, rubbing a massage into her feet before sliding up her calves. By the time he reached her upper thigh Liz was panting. She curled her body up to seek the friction she so desperately wanted and felt the pressure disappear, Red letting out a soft chuckle. "So impatient, sweetheart." He pressed a soft kiss into her forehead, then leaned down to nip at her ear, whispering, "Stay still for me." Liz went rigid, only her toes moving as she curled them against the slippery tile.

Red brushed the slightest of pressure between her thigh and Liz had to bite her lip to keep from moaning as he held it there for a moment, pressing down for a moment before he lifted it completely. Liz's breath came out in a harsh gasp and she could hear Red's smile when he spoke again, "That's my girl."

He began to rub small circles up her stomach. He moved the washcloth in a loose circle around her breasts, before he moved in, brushing against her hardened nipples with one soft stroke, then another more firm one, repeating the motion until Liz couldn't help the way she was pressing into his hand, her harsh breathing coming out in broken moans and sighs. "Please Red," she finally cried. " _Please_."

The hand froze and for a second Liz thought she had pushed him to far, her eyes popping open so she could beg him to stay, but when she looked up his eyes were filled with nothing but raw desire. "Tell me what you want, Lizzy." His voice was rough and made her stomach clench almost painfully, her throat going dry.

"Re-" His hand tightened against her. " _Raymond,_ I want you to fuck me. I want to feel you inside me, I want you to touch every inch of me until I'm _begging_ for you, I want-" She let out a small squeal as Red slipped one hand beneath her knees and the other around her back, wrapping her arm around his shoulder as he lifted her free from the bath. He hardly seemed to notice the water flowing of Liz, soaking through the front of his shirt.

 _"God_ sweetheart," he moaned, his voice wrecked. He carried her from the bathroom into the bedroom setting her gently into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. "Wait here," he ordered, as if Liz could even leave if she wanted to, her legs so weak and her body so flushed with arousal that all other thoughts were driven from her mind.

TBC ;)


	5. Chapter 5

AN: I know I said this would be up tomorrow in the comments literally an hour ago but my plans got cancelled so enjoy this final chapter a day early! Yay.

Previously on Yours:

_"Re-" His hand tightened against her. "Raymond, I want you to fuck me. I want to feel you inside me, I want you to touch every inch of me until I'm begging for you, I want-" She let out a small squeal as Red slipped one hand beneath her knees and the other around her back, wrapping her arm around his shoulder as he lifted her free from the bath. He hardly seemed to notice the water flowing of Liz, soaking through the front of his shirt._

_"God sweetheart," he moaned, his voice wrecked. He carried her from the bathroom into the bedroom setting her gently into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. "Wait here," he ordered, as if Liz could even leave if she wanted to, her legs so weak and her body so flushed with arousal that all other thoughts were driven from her mind._

Chapter 5

Red returned with his soaked shirt hanging off his shoulders, a large, fluffy towel in his hands. Liz's gaze caught on the curly, golden hairs that covered his chest and stomach, becoming thicker and darker as her eyes traced downwards. As Red began to dry her, Liz ran a hand up his stomach to his shoulders. He froze but didn't stop her, and Liz let her hands run further until she could feel the marbled skin on his back. She remembered reading about the scars in his report, but it wasn't until now that her mind connected the feeling of her own thumb brushing against her wrist and the sensation of Red's scars beneath her fingers.

She eased the shirt off his shoulders as she mapped the raised skin with the ghost of her finger tips. Red let out a choked noise. "Do they still hurt?" she asked and he shook his head, his eyes a storm of emotions as he met her gaze. Dropping the towel, his hand fumbled for her neck, pulling her up to him in a desperate and searing kiss. Liz was swept away by the feeling of his lips moving against her own and she ran her fingers through his short hair, her other hand clutching tight against his back until he broke off with a gasp. His pupils were blown wide with arousal and his lips were swollen. "Move to the top of the bed," Red said breathlessly, his fingers flexing against her neck. "Grip the headboard with both hands and _stay there."_

As soon as he released her and took a step back Liz scrambled backwards on the bed. She gripped the headboard and laid down on her back, reveling in the feeling of the cool sheets against her flushed skin. Only her head was raised and Red met her gaze as he slowly undid his belt. Liz's eyes were glued to his hands as they deftly unbuttoned his pants and then slipped his pants and boxers down in one smooth movement until he was standing there, bare before her. Liz's mouth went dry- Red was _big_ and thick too, his cock so hard that it strained against his stomach. She let her head fall backwards and heard Red make a noise like a growl.

"Look at me, Elizabeth."

She looked at him to find him stalking towards her, his eyes sweeping over her stretch of exposed skin in a way that made her shiver. He paused when he was standing by her thighs, gently settling himself in between them on crouched knees. "I want to hear you," Red murmured before leaning down to bury his face between her legs.

Liz moaned loudly, her exhales coming out in breathy sighs, her fingers gripping the headboard so tightly it _hurt_. His tongue was doing absolutely sinful things between her thighs- tracing loosely around her clit before taking it into his mouth and sucking on it, the pleasure so intense it almost hurt. Liz couldn't focus on anything but his mouth on her, her words coming out in a string of gibberish that involved his name and _oh god_ , _please_.

He slipped a finger into her and it took all of Liz's strength not to grind upwards as Red moaned. "You're so wet for me sweetheart." He slipped another finger into her, continuing his ministrations against her clit. Liz could feel the heat encasing her whole body as he pushed her closer and closer to the edge.

"Please Red," she gasped and a moment later he twisted his fingers inside of her while pressing firmly against her clit and Liz's vision went white as a surge of pleasure washed over her so intense that it took nearly a minute for her to come back down to find Red's fingers still inside her, thrusting in a loose and slow rhythm as he stared at her, his lips parted. When Liz's eyes focused on his own he let out a shaky breath. " _God,_ Lizzy."

Liz smiled, and flexed her hips upwards to take his fingers deeper inside of her. Red's eyes fluttered shut as a broken moan escaped his lips. When he opened his eyes again they were burning and Liz felt the arousal flare back even stronger than before. Red's fingers slipped from her and he moved to kiss her, sucking on her bottom lip before he trailed kisses across her cheek and down her neck, moving lower. He took her left nipple into his mouth, sucking until Liz was squirming beneath him, each stroke of his tongue making her moan until Liz couldn't take it anymore. "Please," she begged and Red released her, his eyes black with desire.

He smiled, "What do you want, Lizzy? What do you really want?"

Liz couldn't help her hips from bucking up, the low rasp of his voice making her _burn_. "You," she gasped. "Raymond I want _you_."

Red kissed her again, _hard_ and fast until Liz was panting into his mouth. His lower body was pressed against her and although Liz could feel his entire length against her stomach, it wasn't where she needed him. She rocked her hips upwards and earned a low hiss, Red's hand moving down to still her. He used his other hand to grab the condom he had placed on the far side of the bed and ripped it open with his teeth, his eyes never leaving Liz's as he slipped it on. "Spread your legs for me, sweetheart."

He positioned himself and slowly slid inside her.

Even though Liz didn't think she had ever been more aroused in her life, it was still a stretch and Red kissed her and rubbed a thumb in smooth circles against her clit until her body relaxed. They both moaned when Red's hips touched her own, and although Red seemed content to give her body time to adjust to his size, Liz wanted him _now_ and tightened her thighs around him. Red let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a growl and began to move, the pace slow and steady at first, but then he began to thrust fast and hard, each thrust hitting Liz's g-spot and making her cry out.

It wasn't long before Red's movements began to go erratic, his hips slamming against her in a near frantic pace as he kissed her again. He pulled back, "Cum for me sweetheart."

Liz did, crying out Red's name as her insides tightened around him and after two more thrusts she felt him shudder against her, her name a breathless cry. They lay pressed against each other through the aftershocks, until Red pressed one more soft kiss to Liz's lips. He moved to lay pressed against her side, stroking a hand through her hair as he murmured, "You can move your hands now," against her lips.

Liz's hands instantly found his back, sliding her finger tips against his skin until Red shivered. "Lizzy-"

Liz cut him off with a kiss. "Thank you," she said and Red seemed speechless. "I don't need to hear the whole story right now, but I know you were there that night. You were the one who carried me out of the flames, not my father."

"Yes," Red said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. "And I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Liz kissed him again and they lay tangled together, until Liz drifted off to sleep.

That night marked a change in their relationship, the final line in the sand gone leaving nothing but an endless stretch of possibility, and God did Red rise to the challenge. It wasn't just about the sex (although there was plenty of that- in the car on the way to search for blacklisters, pressed against the wall at the edge of the dance floor in a dark club as Red's hands worked between her thighs, and on one notable occasion on Liz's desk with Red's mouth hot on hers as he thrusted hard enough for her to ache, a whisper of _be silent for me sweetheart_ ). It was about Red always being there, caring for her, _loving_ her. His carefully disguised orders spoke to something deep inside Liz that she had kept hidden for so long, but with Red letting go was as easy as breathing.

It had been nearly three years, and Red had stuck to his promise. Even with the toughest of blacklisters, she'd be at his side every step of the way- the two of them working together so efficiently that words hardly needed to pass between them. And if the night after he gripped her a little tighter, and kissed her with a hint of desperation, well then that was something Liz could handle.

Sometimes it was there in the expression on her coworkers' faces- the narrowed eyes as they took in a particularly dark mark on Liz's neck, a shared glance when Red refused to leave her side each time she was injured, even if it was no more than a paper cut. But their relationship had soared past the level of _professionalism_ before it even began and if Cooper's face sometimes looked pinched when he watched the two of them, he never called Liz in to talk about "compromising relationships" again. She was careful to leave her work phone behind every time she went to visit Red and as long as the team didn't have any proof, their hands were tied.

The truth was that no one was pressing too deeply for the simple fact that no matter how much they may disapprove it _worked._ Liz seemed to share a language with Red that only they could understand and their team caught more criminals than nearly every other _combined,_ closing cases so fast that Liz could hardly keep up with the paperwork.

Everything came to a rather anticlimactic end after a day so normal that Liz wouldn't have thought a single thing of it if it wasn't for _Red._ He had been tense all day, actually _jumping_ when Ressler directed a question at him during the case briefing. And as much as she tried, Liz couldn't get him to do more than take quick glances in her direction, much less meet her gaze.

Red had slipped out, unnoticed to all but Liz, right after they brought the target in, the tightness in the lines between his eyes not hidden by his shades and Liz felt a sweep of worry through her that made her want to drop the criminal she was leading right there and run after him, consequences be damned. But she stayed for the interrogation (maybe pressing a little too hard, screaming at him until _Samar_ of all people had to pull her away) and the subsequent report. As soon as Cooper dismissed them, Liz all but ran to the elevator, jabbing the button with a little too much force as she unlocked her phone and went to speed dial number 1.

When she neared her car she nearly had a heart attack at the sight of someone in the passenger seat, her hand automatically flying to her gun. When the sight of the familiar grey fedora finally sunk in Liz slipped her phone back into her pocket and took a deep breath. Then she slid in across from Red.

"I'm surprised you didn't want to drive, you're usually stir crazy from a day stuck in the Post Office," Liz said lightly when Red didn't even look in her direction. His face snapped up at her voice and Liz caught a flash of pain in his eyes before Red looked away again.

The chuckle he let out was just on the right side of hysteria and he must have realized it because he snapped his mouth shut. "You are far too considerate, Elizabeth."

The use of her full name- one he hadn't used in _months_ \- made Liz's stomach drop further. "Raymond..."

He sighed, turning to fix his gaze somewhere behind her right shoulder. "You have always read me far too well, sweetheart. There are some... things we need to discuss, but I would prefer to do it in the privacy of your house."

Liz opened her mouth, wanting to ask him why he hadn't just gone to her house then, but the sad, lost look on his face made her bite her tongue. She started the car and the question was answered when she went to flip on the radio and Red grasped her hand, intertwining her fingers with his own as if he never wanted to let go.

The tightness in Red's shoulders hadn't eased by the time they were inside and there was so much tension choking the air that something felt ready to _snap._ Red paced into the living room, not taking a seat so Liz remained standing as he turned to face her, the distance he had just put between them making her heart ache but she didn't dare close it. She expected him to speak first, to tell her some outlandish story that was meant to give her a message or some strange metaphor she needed to unfold. When he remained silent, his eyes drinking her in as if he was memorizing her image, Liz spoke. "So, Alan Baker." Red had hardly blinked when they had dragged him in, but his behavior had started with the case, and his eyes now jumped up to meet hers. Liz's voice was light but she was certain Red could hear the heavy question beneath it.

Red sighed, a pained look flashing across his face. "You asked me why I chose you, the first time we met." Liz remembered the moment well- the way he looked at her like he could see every inch of her laid bare before him; _I think you're very special_. Even then, his proximity had affected her- making her heart race and thoughts blur in a way that took far too long for Liz to decipher as _attraction_ instead of fear. "Curiosity. I was selfish, I wanted to see the little girl that I had saved so many years ago, I wanted a chance to spend time with her, and I think I hoped..." His voice cracked and he swallowed. "I think somewhere deep inside I hoped she would save the shattered pieces of my heart."

"Then I saw you and you were... _incandescent."_ The word was breathed out with a worship-like reverence and Red's eyes were glazed over as if he was seeing her walk down the stairs all over again, head held high despite the fear coursing through her veins."You were soft and hard, then soft again. The more time I spent with you, the more I realized how deeply I had fallen, and the thought that I would eventually have to let you go..." The smile he gave her was twisted with a staggering amount of grief and Liz's breath caught in her throat because _oh Red how could you think that after everything we've been through, I would ever leave..._

"Alan Baker was number 164. You were correct about him being low on the list- the last, in fact." It took a moment for Red's words to sink in and when they did the implications were immediate. The thought that they had ended the path that Red had started them on so many years ago was nearly _unfathomable_ and Liz thought back to the staggering number of cases they had completed in the past three and a half years. "I think you know as well as I do that the immunity deal was never anything more than a fantasy, a tool they thought would keep me in line. I could give them all the criminals in the world and it would never erase my crimes in their eyes." His voice suddenly went quiet and his gaze dropped to the floor. "There is a house on an island in the middle of the Pacific."

"Red-"

"Come with me." It was the first time Liz had heard his voice waver in years, the first time he had showed any measure of doubt that she would disobey him and the vulnerability in his voice made her ache. "Lizzy, _please_ say you'll come with me, I love you so much sweetheart-"

Liz rushed up to him and kissed him, cutting of his words in a muffled moan. His hand found the back of her neck and gripped _hard,_ his lips pressing against her with a desperate and needy want that was just as intense as the first kiss he gave her years ago in her bedroom, hot and firm enough to dance the line between pain and pleasure. When they broke apart Red was gasping for breath and Liz was pressed so tightly against him that she could hardly tell where he ended and she began. " _Yes,"_ she murmured against his lips, kissing him again. "Anywhere you go Red, I'll follow."

Liz could see the flash of sheer joy across Red's features before he buried his face into her neck and pulled her impossibly closer. Liz could feel that he was _shaking_ and gripped his back tighter in response.

They stood there, tangled together, until the last ounce of doubt had faded from Red's mind and he pressed a soft kiss into Liz's neck before pulling back. "Well then sweetheart, you're going to need to pack. I want that _delectable_ red dress on the bottom, then three pairs of leggings..."

FIN :) 

AN: I hope you enjoyed reading this half as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments, I appreciate them soooo much.

 


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